Grief and Loss

Throughout the course of our years, we all experience a loss at some point in our lives. In fact, statistics show that 1 in 5 children will experience the death of someone close to them before 18 years of age. Grief is the emotional response to any type of loss – whether it is the loss of a loved one, a severed relationship, a pregnancy, a pet,  a job, financial security, or safety after trauma.

When a person loses something or someone valuable to them, feelings of grief can be overwhelming. Grief can leave a person feeling sad, hopeless, isolated, irritable, and numb by affecting them mentally, emotionally, and physically. It is important to understand that healing from grief is a process and everyone copes with this emotion differently. It is also important to have patience with yourself and others during this process as it is a healthy part of healing.  Everyone experiences loss differently based on their personality, culture, and beliefs, among many other factors. There is no orderly process of dealing with grief, but Dr. Kubler-Ross identified passing through 5 stages of grief: shock and disbelief; anger; bargaining; depression; and, acceptance. These are:

1. Shock and disbelief: feeling numb about the event, having trouble believing it happened, denying it, or expecting to suddenly see the person you lost.
2. Anger: blaming someone for injustice. Fear, anxiety, and insecurity may also be present.
3. Bargaining: "If only I did...." Regret over things unsaid or undone, feeling responsible for the death or event, or shame from feeling relieved by a person's passing may also be present.
4. Depression: sadness, crying, or having feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or loneliness. Physical symptoms of fatigue, nausea, weight loss or gain, aches and pains, and insomnia may be present more in this stage, but these symptoms could occur during any stage of grief.
5. Acceptance: memory of loss remains but the grief is less intense; making new decisions and moving on.

Coping with Grief and Loss

An important part of healing is knowing that you are not alone. Seek support from your friends, family, or faith, or join a bereavement support group. Sharing your loss can make the grieving process easier. Remember to take care of yourself; to eat, sleep, and exercise even when you’re too stressed or fatigued to do so. A healthy alternative is to seek the help of a professional therapist. A therapist can help you work through your intense emotions and grief process in a safe environment and help you improve your coping skill, explore and process feelings of anger, anxiety, and sadness, and finding peace and moving on with your life.